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Hard Cheese of Old England

[Les Barker / trad.]

Hard Cheese of Old England is a poem from Les Barker’s book Reign of Terrier.

Martin Carthy sang Hard Cheese of Old England on The Mrs Ackroyd Band’s 1990 album Oranges and Lemmings. Les Barker noted:

A Traditional English Food song pre-dating Lymeswold.

This recording was also included in 2001 on Martin Carthy’s anthology The Carthy Chronicles, next to his own version of Hard Times of Old England, and on the anthology Guide Cats for the Blind: Songs & Poems of Les Barker.

Notts Alliance sang Hard Cheese of Old England at Horsley Folk Day:

Lyrics

Martin Carthy sings Hard Cheese of Old England

There’s Cheddar and Cheshire and Lancashire too,
Leicester’s bright orange and Stilton is blue.
It waxes so lyrical, what can you do but sing
Oh, the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

Derby’s got green bits because of the sage,
And when it gets older, it’s kept in a cage.
And what does it hum when it reaches this age but
Oh, the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

They say double Gloucester is twicest as nice,
They say double Gloucester, there, I’ve said it twice,
Its nice in potatoes, but nicest in mice, and sing
Oh, the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

Those Edam foreigners aren’t worth a mention,
That old Gorgonzola’s renowned for it stench and
His brother Émile wrote novels in French and sing
Oh, the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

There’s Swaledale and Wendsleydale, Rutland to add,
Shropshire and Cornish you may not have had,
It’s not bad on salads, this ballad’s not sad, and sing
Oh, the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

My young love said to me, my mother won’t mind,
And my father won’t slight you for your lack of rind,
No cheese grater love for his food hath mankind than
Oh, the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

Acknowledgements

Poem copied from Reigns of Terrier with adaptions to the singing of Martin Carthy by Reinhard Zierke.