There Are No Lights on Our Christmas Tree
Cyril Tawney wrote There Are No Lights on Our Christmas Tree in 1962. He sang it in 1997 on his cassette Man of Honour: The Non-Maritime Song and in 2002 on the brilliant anthology Bah! Humbug: The Alternative Christmas Album.
The Watersons (on this occasion Martin Carthy, lead vocals; Mike & Norma Waterson and Jill Pidd, vocals) sang There Are No Lights on Our Christmas Tree on December 1, 1990 on the Folkscene KFPF Los Angeles radio programme Singing in the Seasons. This recording was included in 2004 on the Watersons' 4 CD anthology Mighty River of Song, together with Mike Waterson singing The Rambling Irish Man at the same event.
Cyril Tawney sings There Are No Lights on Our Christmas Tree
The time has come for festivity
For Christmas pudding and revelry
But as I passed a house the other night
I heard a little voice so clear and bright:
Chorus (repeated after each verse):
There are no lights on our Christmas tree
We must not spoil the televee
No party games, no mistletoe
Just whistle “Wenceslas” and out you go
Just once a year I become a square
I love to feel the tinsel in my hair
I love to sing the songs of days gone by
But dad and me we don't see eye to eye
The box of crackers from Uncle Alf
It lies unopened upon the shelf
Dad has forbid them but we're hoping he
Won't notice one more bang in “Laramie”
Some carol singers came to the door
I've never seen Dad so mad before
He grabbed the leader by the coat
And tried to ram his lantern down his throat.
The latest boy-friend of sister Bet
Was simply gasping for a cigarette
He looked a proper case I do declare
A-stringing matches down behind a chair.
When I grow up and become a man
There'll be no television in my plan
With laughter gay my house will ring
I never want to hear my children sing