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I Wish They’d Do It Now

[ Roud 1401 ; G/D 7:1447 ; Ballad Index Gil111 ; Bodleian Roud 1401 ; DT DOITNOW ; Mudcat 42087 ; trad.]

George Townshend sang I Wish They’d Do It Now to Brian Matthews in May 1960. This recording was included in 2000 on his Musical Traditions anthology Come, Hand to Me the Glass. Rod Stradling noted:

It must seem strange that the lively polka tune to this song was played, seemingly, in every village in southern England at one time, and anyone over 50 will happily join in the chorus even today—yet Roud has only six instances of the song being collected. These are incredibly widespread—USA, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Yorkshire, Hampshire … and George in Sussex.

Bob Davenport and the Marsden Rattlers sang I Wish They’d Do It Now in 1971 on their eponymous Trailer album Bob Davenport and the Marsden Rattlers. Bob Davenport and the Rakes also sang it at The Barn, Dent, Cumbria, on Easter 1997, which was released in the same year on their Fellside album The Red Haired Lad.

John Roberts and Tony Barrand sang I Wish They’d Do It Now in 1971 on their first album, Spencer the Rover Is Alive and Well. They noted:

Originally an American Pseudo-Irish minstrel show song, this version comes from Bob Davenport, a fine singer in this music hall tradition.

Charlie Whiting sang a fragment verse of They Daren’t Do It Now to Keith Summers in between 1971 and 1977. This recording was included in 2006 on the Veteran anthology of traditional folk songs, music hall songs, and tunes from Suffolk collected by Summers, Good Hearted Fellows.

Lyrics

George Townshend sings So Green As the Leaves

I was born in Tipperary, one day when I was young,
And that’s the reason I have got the blarney on my tongue.
I’m the picture of my Dad and the doctor he did vow
And the girls’d run to kiss me – Oh, I wish they’d do it now!

Chorus:
Oh, I wish they’d do it now! Oh, I wish they’d do it now!
And the girls’d run to kiss me – Oh, I wish they’d do it now!

And as I grew older, the girls would laugh with glee,
They would press me to their bosom, they would dance me on their knee.
They would rock me in the cradle, and if I made a row,
They would tickle me so funny – Oh, I wish they’d do it now!

At five years old, a finer boy, there never was seen,
They would take me out to play upon the meadows green,
They would gather all the buttercups to deck my boyish brow,
They would rollick me all in the grass – I wish they’d do it now!

They would take me out to bathe when the weather it was mild,
We would swim and jump about like little [indecipherable] so wild,
They would splash the water ’til it shone like pearls upon my brow,
They would wash me nice all over – Oh, I wish they’d do it now!

My father sent me to school to learn my ABC,
And the naughty girls in my class, they would not let me be,
They would stick pins in my breeches and that [weren’t fair I’ll allow ?]
And the Master he would whack me – Oh, I wish they’d do it now!

Now it’s lonesome for a boy to lead a single life,
So I just made up my mind tonight and try and get a wife,
My fortune is six thumping pigs, likewise the old fat sow,
So there’s plenty love and bacon for the girl that’ll have me now.

John Roberts and Tony Barrand sing So Green As the Leaves

I was born of Geordie parents one day when I was young
That’s how the squire learned his will, they gave me native tongue
That I was a pretty baby, my mother she would vow
The girls all ran to kiss me, well I wish they’d do it now:
    Oh, I wish they’d do it now, oh, I wish they’d do it now
    I’ve got itches in me britches and I wish they’d do it now.

Well when I was only six months old, the girls would handle me
They’d clutch me to their bosoms and they’d bounce me on their knee
They would rock me in the cradle and if I make a row
They’d tickle me, they’d cuddle me, I wish they’d do it now:

At sixteen months as fine a lad as ever could be seen
The girls all liked to follow me right down to the green
They would make a chain of buttercups, drop it on my brow
Then they’d roll me in the clover, well I wish they’d do it now:

Well the East End girls would call for me to swim when it was mild
Down to the river we would go and splash about a while
They’d throw the water over me, duck me like a yow
Then they’d rub me nice all over, oh, I wish they’d do it now:

Well its awful lonely for a lad to live a single life
I think I’ll go to the dance tonight and find myself a wife
Oh I have got six bundle pigs, likewise one fat sow
There’ll be plenty love and bacon for the girl who’ll have me now:
    For the girl who’ll have me now, for the girl who’ll have me now
    There’ll be plenty love and bacon for the girl who’ll have me now.

Charlie Whiting sings They Daren’t Do It Now

My father he sent me to school to learn my ABC,
But the naughty girls all in my class they wouldn’t let me be.
They’d stick pins in my britches causing me to make a row.
They would tickle me all over, but they daren’t do it now.

Oh, they daren’t do it now, oh, they daren’t do it now,
They would tickle me all over, but they daren’t do it now.