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End of Me Old Cigar

[William Crump]

The music hall ditty The End of My Old Cigar was written by William Crump (1866-1942), better known by his stage name of Harry Champion. Martin Carthy and Redd Sullivan sang it in 1963 at a midnight folk concert recorded in the Decca studios for the LP Hootenanny in London. It is one of Carthy's earliest recordings.

Lyrics

Martin Carthy and Redd Sullivan sing End of Me Old Cigar

Twenty years ago, the landlord of the Star
Says, “Here you are, young fellow-me-lad, here's a ninepenny cigar.”
I smoked it up till Easter, and then me horrible wife
Says, “Put the nasty thing away. You'll need it the rest of your life.”
With the end of me old cigar, tra-la, tra-la, tra-la.
I walk down Piccadilly, I'm a regular lah-di-dah.
I may not be good looking but the girls think I'm a star,
But I tickle the ladies' fancy with the end of me old cigar.

Ten years ago, when I was in me surgery,
In came a young woman, and thus she says to me:
“Doctor, vaccinate me in a place that will not show.”
“I'll vaccinate you, Gertie, what-ho, what-ho, what-ho!”
With the end of me old cigar, tra-la, tra-la, tra-la.
I vaccinated Gertie, God, you should have seen the scar!
Whenever she gets out of a train or into a motor-car
She says, “Look what the Doctor did to me with the end of his old cigar!”

Five years ago, while I was serving overseas,
I saw the German enemy and me blood began to freeze.
The Sergeant said, “Here's tin-hat, me lad,
Now put it upon your head.”
I said, “If it's all the same to you, I'll put it down here instead!”
Oh, the end of me old cigar, tra-la, tra-la, tra-la,
I saved me manly virtue with the end of me old cigar.

Acknowledgements

Lyrics found at the Mudcat Café thread Lyr Req: The End of My Old Cigar (Harry Champion) and adapted to the actual singing of Martin Carthy and Redd Sullivan.