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Hard Cheese of Old England

[Les Barker / trad.]

Hard Cheese of Old England is a poem from Les Barker’s book Reign of Terrier.

Martin Carthy sang Hard Cheese of Old England on The Mrs Ackroyd Band’s 1990 album Oranges and Lemmings. Les Barker noted:

A Traditional English Food song pre-dating Lymeswold.

This recording was also included in 1997 on Les Barker’s anthology Probably the Best Album Ever Made By Anybody in Our Street, in 2001 on Martin Carthy’s anthology The Carthy Chronicles, next to his own version of Hard Times of Old England, and in 2003 on the album of Les Barker’s songs and poemsm Guide Cats for the Blind.

Notts Alliance sing Hard Cheese of Old England at Horsley Folk Day in this 2011 video:

Lyrics

Martin Carthy sings Hard Cheese of Old England

There’s Cheddar and Cheshire and Lancashire too,
Leicester’s bright orange and Stilton is blue.
It waxes so lyrical, what can you do but sing
O the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

Derby’s got green bits because of the sage,
And when it gets older, it’s kept in a cage.
And what does it hum when it reaches this age but
O the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

They say double Gloucester is twicest as nice,
They say double Gloucester, there, I’ve said it twice,
Its nice in potatoes, but nicest in mice, and sing
O the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

Those Edam foreigners aren’t worth a mention,
That old Gorgonzola’s renowned for it stench and
His brother Émile wrote novels in French and sing
O the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

There’s Swaledale and Wendsleydale, Rutland to add,
Shropshire and Cornish you may not have had,
It’s not bad on salads, this ballad’s not sad, and sing
O the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

My young love said to me, my mother won’t mind,
And my father won’t slight you for your lack of rind,
No cheese grater love for his food hath mankind than
O the hard cheese of old England,
In old England, very hard cheese.

Acknowledgements

Poem copied from Reigns of Terrier with adaptions to the singing of Martin Carthy by Reinhard Zierke.