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The Man That Waters the Workers’ Beer

[ Roud 31289 ; Ballad Index FSWB029 ; Paddy Ryan]

Paddy Ryan sang his own song The Man That Waters the Workers’ Beer in 1939 on the very first Topic record TRC1, together with The Internationale. This track was included in 2009 on the anthology celebrating 70 years of Topic Records, Three Score and Ten and in 2014 on the General Federation of Trade Unions / Topic anthology Voice and Vision.

Stan Kelly, accompanied by Leon Rosselson, sang The Man That Waters the Workers’ Beer in 1961 on their Topic album Songs for Swinging Landlords To. The sleeve notes commented:

Words by Paddy Ryan to a traditional tune. A classic from the Unity Theatre stable in 1939.

Roy Harris with the Pump and Pluck Band sang The Man That Waters the Workers’ Beer in 1976 on the Free Reed anthology The Tale of Ale.

John Roberts and Tony Barrand sang The Man That Waters the Workers’ Beer live at Holstein’s, Chicago, in November 1982. This recording was released in 1983 on their album Live at Holsteins!. They noted:

The Man That Waters the Workers’ Beer is from the pen of “Paddy Ryan” (Dr. R.E.W. Fisher) written in 1938 when he was a medical student. He recorded the song a year later, with The Internationale, as the first release of the nascent Topic Records.

Lyrics

John Roberts and Tony Barrand sing The Man That Waters the Workers’ Beer

Chorus (after each verse):
I am the man, the very fat man
That waters the workers’ beer
I am the man, the very fat man
That waters the workers’ beer
And what do I care if it makes them ill
If it makes them terribly queer
I’ve a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane,
And I waters the workers’ beer.

Now when I waters the workers’ beer
I puts in strychnine
Some methylated spirits
And a can of kerosene
Ah, but such a brew so terribly strong
It would make them terribly queer
So I reaches my hand for the watering-can
And I waters the workers’ beer:

Now a drop of good beer is good for a man
When he’s tired, thirsty and hot
And I sometimes have a drop myself
From a very special pot
For a strong and healthy working class
Is the thing that I most fear
So I reaches my hand for the watering-can
And I waters the workers’ beer:

Now ladies fair, beyond compare
Be you maiden or wife
Spare a thought for such a man
Who leads such a lonely life
For the water rates are frightfully high,
And the meths is terribly dear
And there ain’t the profit there used to be
In watering the workers’ beer: