Mrs. Crandall’s Boarding House / Girls

[ Roud - ; G. & T. Linch]

In May 1963, Decca gathered together London folkies for an all-night “hootenanny” in the studios which resulted in the LP Hootenanny in London and the EP The Thamesiders and Davy Graham. On the LP, Martin Carthy made his first solo recording singing this song, i.e. Girls, and Your Baby ’as Gorn Dahn the Plug ’Ole, which was later revived by Cream. Martin also sang End of Me Old Cigar in a duet with Redd Sullivan.

The Canadian band The Irish Rovers sang Mrs. Crandall’s Boarding House on the B-side of their 1969 Decca single Lily the Pink. Their version is credited to the band members Wilcil McDowell, George Millar, and Will Millar.

Lyrics

Martin Carthy sings Girls

In the boarding house I lived in
Everything was growing old:
Silver threads among the butter
And the cheese was green with mould.
When the dog died we had sausages,
When the cat died, catnip tea.
When the landlord died I left there,
Spare ribs were too much for me.

Now girls never can change their nature,
It is quite beyond their reach.
If a girl is born a lemon,
She can never be a peach.
But the law of compensation
Is the one I always preach:
You can always squeeze a lemon -
You ever tried to squeeze a peach?

Now the train was standing in the station
When a young man full of cares,
Rushing on to get a-boarded,
Tripped, fell headlong down the stairs.
An old lady rushed up to him, said,
“Did you miss a step, my son?”
He turned to her and said, “No, lady,
I hit every bloody one.”

The Irish Rovers sings Mrs. Crandall’s Boarding House

In the boarding house I lived in,
Ev’rything was growing old:
Silver threads among the butter
And the cheese was green with mould.
When the dog died we had sausages;
When the cat died, catnip tea.
When the landlord died I left there;
Spare ribs were too much for me!

Chorus (after each verse):
Oh, my dear Mrs Crandall, I think I like you a lot.
I lived in your house quiet as a mouse; someday you’ll be caught.

Well, girls can never change their nature;
It is quite beyond their reach.
Mrs Crandall is a lemon;
She can never be a peach.
But the law of compensation
Is the one I always preach:
You can always squeeze a lemon;
Have you tried to squeeze a peach?

The train was standing at the station;
I was rushing full of care,
When I tripped on her cat and I stumbled
And fell headlong down the stairs.
Mrs Crandall came up to me;
“Did you miss a step, me son?”
“No,” I says, “Me dear landlady,
I hit every bloomin’ one!”